1. My name is Ashley.
2. I just turned 24.
3. I love myself.
4. I like to blog.
5. I teach kindergarten.
6. I value my sleep.
7. I love alcohol.
8. I'm currently eating cold pizza for breakfast.
9. I don't like sharing my bed.
10. I don't like two students in my class. 
11. Sometimes, I don't like being around people. 
12. I believe that every good and every bad thing that happens serves a purpose. 
13. I create a lot of my insecurities. 
14. I love singing but seriously lack in the ability to do it well. 
15. I have to have salt with my sugar and sugar with my salt. 
16. I lost a student over a month ago (went to new school) and I'm still sad about it. 
17. I feel like there's never enough hours in the day. 
18. I listen to certain songs on repeat for days. 
19. I've developed a tough exterior, but I'm still a softie on the inside. 
20. Royalty is still my favorite album right now!!

** Check out my new "Who Am I?" Tab :)

I blog because I have a lot to say...about everything!!! My blog gives me a platform to speak my truth, unapologetically. I think things, I feel things, I wonder about things, and I experience things. It's nice to have a place to put it.
I also feel extremely comfortable with anonymity of my readers. I know that my friends read, but Idk who else does. It would be cool to know, but it's also fun not knowing. 
I enjoy letting people in this way. I'm very honest and open and I can only hope that someone can get some type of understanding or even entertainment out of what I got going on lol

Anyone that knows me, knows that I live my life slooooowly. Not taking many risks or really putting myself out there. Don't get me wrong...even with that being said, boring could not accurately describe me. I may say so sometimes, but don't take that too seriously. 

In speaking with a friend of mine recently, I've finally been able to figure out this stuff I've been feeling. I'm living my life a good 6 years behind my friends when it comes to boys and sex. I waited until I was 23 to have sex and now I'm turning 24. I barely have a year in the game. I'm friends with this guy and I'm baffled by my confusion because I'm too old for this . I am a very capable and confident young woman, but this shit be having me like ????????? lol

The part that gets me the most is that it's all new...Like too many new things going on at once. I can't keep up. And the second part that gets me the most is the fact that I'm not used to not knowing what I'm doing. 

Experience really is the best teacher. I'm feeling things and doing things that my friends already lived through. They're giving me all this advice and I'm being a stubborn TEENAGER!!!! I always think I know what I'm doing but that's stupid!!! THEY'VE BEEN THROUGH IT! I used to be the one giving out all the advice, but in this situation, where everything I'm doing is new to me, I need all the advice. A hard head makes for a soft ass. Let's hope I don't have to learn that first hand.

You ever forget who you are? Just get lost in everything that's going on around you and totally lose sight of everything that you fought to become...? 

I had one of those moments just last week. I got this new kid in my class who is bat shit crazy, personal shit, and all these insane deadlines. I felt so defeated by my life and my career that I just forgot who I was for a couple of days. I had two very dark days. I was a total  bitch (which is not unusual hehe) but it was just worse than normal. I was so bummed out and angry that I couldn't even produce tears to attempt to cry it out. I was drained in every sense of the word. 

In those moments, I wanted everything that I couldn't have. But what I completely neglected, was everything that I do have and everything that I am.

I forgot that I am a strong, beautiful, intelligent, sophisticated, professional, and abundantly blessed young woman. I damn near wanted to slap myself for allowing those dark days to happen. Bad days don't all of a sudden strip me of what I've worked HARD to become. 

I'm not saying I won't have bad days again, I'm saying that I'm going to make sure I remember who tf I am next time. 

​Bye :)

Let's talk about those decisions that make us cringe...the stupid ones!!!

I've always made stupid decisions....but the level of stupidity I've exhibited in the more recent past takes the cake hands down. 

I was recently exposed to a new life and I took it and ran. I look at my decisions and I'm like "gosh ash that was so stupid". Then I go and do it again. And the sickening part about it is that I think it's funny. Stupid decisions yield good stories and unforgettable memories. 

Basically what I'm saying is that I'm a fan of stupid decisions, in moderation. You can't know everything, you can't avoid everything, you can't plan everything, and you can't always hold yourself back from life. Not to say that the only way to live is through stupid decisions, but it's nice to look back every once in a while and think "omg that was stupid, why'd I do that?" and know that that is something you're going to remember forever. 

I used to live my life completely safe. I still kinda do, I'm not just out here lol but I do allow myself to succumb to the moment every once and a while. 

Stupid is not always synonymous with bad. For me, it's out of the ordinary; unimaginable, and with just enough danger to make my heart beat fast. 

Day 30 is something I'm excited for...


I'm excited for my next year of teaching. I've learned so much this year and can't wait for my next class to benefit. That sounds so bad, as if I don't give my all to my current kiddies. That is absurd. I give them everything, but they give me more. And I will take everything that they've given me and apply it as necessary for my next group of lovelies. 

Day 29 is my 21st Birthday...


I got my ID....was surprised with a dinner at the Cheesecake Factory with a few close friends and ordered my first drink....because prior to that day I was under 21 and therefore had never consumed alcohol :)

I received the coolest gift ever from my best friend who was upset with me at the time. Her gift made me cry, though. 
She gifted me a scrapbook and it was very...emotional LOL

Day 28 is a word/phrase I use often...


So I swear this changes like every 2 months lol but currently I've noticed that I've been saying "shutup" excessively. 

Example:
Coworker: I finished grading your assessments
Me: *drops jaw* Shutup!!

Day 27 is what I wore today.


parent teacher conferences are over, which means I can focus my attention on other pressing issues. With that being said, I wore a smile and a better attitude today. I also have on jeans and a UD tshirt because it's casual Friday. 

Day 26 is things I'd say to an ex...


Ummm...I honestly don't know. I think it'd just be a cordial conversation as long as he stays in his lane.

Day 25 is 4 weird things about me....yes I modified this one ever so slightly


Hmmmm....I'm not weird at all so Idk how to do this one.

1. I enjoy the dark, but my imagination is so crazy that I'm actually scared of it.
2. I get disgusted when watching people eat cereal. 
3. I surprise myself quite often. I don't understand how that's possible and I mean that in the most humblest way possible, but sometimes I look back at things that have happened or things that I know are going to happen and I surprise myself.
4. I believe there is a right and a wrong way to put the tissue on the tissue holder...

Day 24 is something I miss...

There were so many different directions this could have gone lol
I miss a lot of things, but I definitely understand the significance of passing moments. 

With that said, I'll choose having my friends close in Marianist Hall at UD. Te'Jal, Rachel, and Devin were all down the hall from me. No need to go from dorm to dorm, no need to maintain relationships via texting, phone calls and facetime. 

I miss that life, but relationships that endure distance are the strongest ones. For that, I am grateful :)

​Happy Tuesday, everyone!

Day 23 is a family member I dislike

 If you're a person who's not doing anything with their life, can only see life as far as the block you live on, have kids but don't do anything for them, stand for nothing, and are uneducated in every possible way and you happen to be in my family....then I don't like you. 

 

Day 22 is my morning routine.

I set my alarm for 5am, 530am, 6am, 620am, and 638am. 

Needless to say, I do not believe in the snooze button. Never have, probably never will. 

And if I get up too early, and get ready too quickly, I will fall back asleep so I have to time myself just right. 

I get up at one of these random alarms and then cut off the ones that come after it. 

The first thing I do is put my bra on, because it is the thing I dread doing the most LOL. I go to the bathroom, pee, brush my teeth, do my hair and go get dressed. 

Sometimes I grab lunch and pack up my bag in the morning, which always causes me to rush so I try to do that at night.

I do not really have a routine, which is why I made it one of my goals to establish one. I need to get my life together. 

Have a good Thursday, everyone!  

Day 21 is my zodiac/horoscope and whether or not I agree with it. 


FOR ANYBODY WITH ANY QUESTIONS, I AM A PISCES THROUGH AND THROUGH!!! NO DOUBT ABOUT IT!

Good day.

P.S. PISCES SEASON IS QUICKLY APPROACHING...

Happy Birthday, Rachel <3

Day 20 is put my ipod and shuffle, write down the first 3 songs and write my initial thought

1. What's My Name by Rihanna and Drake....I love this song! Reminds me of beautiful weather, fun, boys, and flirtation. Love it all!

2. Pretty Bird (freestyle) By Jhene Aiko....Interesting. Love this album but never really listened to this song.

3. Never Ending by Rihanna....this shit random af.

Hasta luego!!

Day 19 is five fears that I have.

Hmmm...interesting.

1. Never getting out of debt.
2. Feeling of loss (someone dies, relationship dies, etc.)
3. SPIDERS!!!
4. Failing as a teacher 
5. Never having a family of my own

Day 18 is my favorite color and why.

My favorite color is purple...all shades. Purple is just a dope ass color. BOOM! (fireworks)


Have a lovely Friday <3

Day 17 is a quote I try to live by

This quote is more like a mantra that I created for myself when I got tired of complaining about things and not doing anything about it. Or complaining about things I didn't want to do...like grow up. 

"I am a woman and women take care of business"

This helps me every time something difficult comes up. I can't quit, wallow, or retreat; I have to deal with it head on. I am not a little girl and things aren't going to magically be taken care of for me. I must woman up and take care of things by myself. 

So yeah there's that. 

Day 16 is a bullet point play by play of my day. This is what I did yesterday (Tuesday because this was supposed to be posted on Wednesday but I forgot)

• Woke up at 530am...did my morning routine. 
• Got to work at 6:19am
• Cleaned my classroom, made copies for the day blah blah blah
• 8:30am I greeted my lovelies at the door :)
• 9:05am took my lovelies to the bathroom and then sent them off to gym class
• 9:20am I made more copies, did some grading.
• 10:00am I taught math, my lovelies are working on composing and decomposing numbers to ten
• 10:45am I switched gears and introduced my lovelies to the concept of living vs. nonliving (this lesson kicked ass by the way)
• 11:30am I sent my lovelies to lunch, ate my lunch, made some important phone calls
• 12:15pm my lovelies came back from recess and had reading enrichment, I did more grading
• 12:45pm I taught my lovelies the difference between wants and needs for social studies. (this lesson also kicked ass and tied in so perfectly with my science lesson from earlier)
• 1:15pm started my literacy block with this really cool story called "Dear Mr. Blueberry"...my lovelies had a lot to do for this story.
• 2:35pm prepared my lovelies to go home
• 2:45pm Read Henry's Freedom Box as we waited for the students to be dismissed.
  
• 3pm I tutored first grade for an hour
  
• 4pm my lovely tutor kids left!!! and I stayed at school and did some planning, room rearrangement and began my deep cleaning process.  
• 7:30 left work
• 745 got home and sat on the couch and stared at the blank tv
• 8pm roommate came home and we cooked dinner, drank wine, caught up on ratchet tv, Facetime bestie
• 10ish wind down time, do hair, get clean, watch TV til I fall asleep

I didn't proofread this lol oopsy

Let's start off with the biggest flop off all time... I tried to give up alcohol for a month. After about a week and a half I was dying. Two weeks in, I cracked at game night with my friends. There was no pressure, I just decided to try again next January lmao
Here's what I did right:

• Brought in the new year with friends
• I'm avoiding fast food this month, probably longer
• I am taking a trip with friends next month!!!
• I started reading a book on my Kindle
• I'm blogging daily this month
• I'm on day 16 of the writing challenge
• I helped someone out financially
• Completed a "One Line a Day" Journal everyday for a month!!! I'll keep it up, it's pretty cool

I'm working on more goals but I put on focus on the ones above!

Heyyy we're half way there!!!

Day 15 is 3 Pet Peeves.... this took some meticulous planning. If you know me, you know that everything gets on my nerves but nothing gets on my nerves. 

1. Invading my personal space and changing things. I can't stand people in my stuff. This one could be all 3 for real.  

2. Entitlement. I hate feeling entitled to stuff and I super hate when other people feel entitled. Like who tf are you? 

3. When people disrespect my profession. You know how many people I could punch in the face for their ignorant comments? TOO FUCKING MANY! I welcome anyone who questions what I do and it's importance into my classroom. I'm not going to respond to it anymore, I'd just like to see the imbeciles try it. :)