There are a lot of things I think and I wonder if it's just me...

1. Insurance is difficult to understand. I don't know what any of those terms are or how they work together. It kind of seems like all the important stuff like insurance, taxes, and things like that are all written in like German. I swear they do that on purpose.

2. I've been sick twice in the last two weeks and each time I become more of a baby. I can't be a baby because I have to be the adult that takes care of me which adds to my frustration. Ugh I hate it!!

3. The state of relations between people of the opposite sex annoys me. Everyone is so hell bent on avoiding real relationships that people who aren't so jaded wind up in these confusing harmful half assed friendships. Then they become jaded and the cycle just continues. 

4. There are levels to adulting. And nothing is more frustrating than hearing a lower level adult talk about how hard things are for them. I won't touch that.

5. Paying real bills make me happy. It's annoying to watch all the money dwindle out of my account, but things are handled...by me.

6. Recently, I heard this thing that said you're never more than 3ft away from a spider. Interesting. That slightly freaks me out a little bit. But I'm bigger than the spider. That's what I tell myself. 

7. That meme about being in a hurry to get home just to lay down and watch tv...#soml don't get me wrong, I participate in life things, buuuuut after being at work with my lovelies all day, I don't have much energy for anything else. I'm honestly hoping this is a first year teacher thing and I will be able to better manage my time so that every time I come home and chill, I'm not making work harder for myself the next day. 

8. My first girl has a full name already :) but I'm fearful that when I actually have a girl, me and the father will disagree... 

9. GREY'S ANATOMY IS GOOD TV

That's it for now. I should be grading papers. PS I haven't been proofreading so forgive the errors. 

Over the years, I've become a very direct person. I've accepted the fact that the worst thing that can happen when you're direct is weeding out things you don't need.
Anyone who knows me knows what I used to be: a doormat. I'm still erasing footprints off my face to this day. However, I became fed up with that life and fed up with wondering about things. I discovered that the only way to eliminate the need to wonder is by being direct and asking questions. "Are you mad at me?" "Can you pay me back?" "Do you like me?". Such simple questions, right?
This directness....it's a beast. A big powerful beast. It makes me feel so strong and so protected. A voice is a magical thing, but just like any other superpower, you've gotta learn to control it. I got this power and I went a little crazy. My attitude became "can't nobody tell me nothin'". Don't get me wrong, I still feel that way, but I have more control over how I let it out. You can't go around clobbering people with your directness. Everyone isn't there yet. SOME PEOPLE NEED TO MAN TF UP, but everybody shouldn't become a victim to my directness. Which I didn't realize until my best friend told me. Aren't best friends great? But she wouldn't have been able to tell me that if she wasn't direct.

The other part is that the directness made me feel very protected. But what I'm learning is that just because I'm direct enough to ask the questions and state my opinions and feelings clearly, doesn't mean that other people will. I'm making myself vulnerable by being so direct. I'm giving pieces of myself away all in the name of this directness that I've discovered. So instead of feeling protected, in some cases I've begun to feel naked. Control. You've gotta be able to control it.

So that's my little rant for today.

So I tried to make this a blog with a specific topic of discussion but that wasn't working out too well, so I decided to just type. I think a lot of things in my head that don't necessarily go together. Currently, I'm in my bed watching Grey's Anatomy battling cramps and period induced emotional instability. 

I started birth control back in January and ever since then, I've had very stereotypical periods. It's so annoying. Being a girl can suck sometimes....but right when I start thinking that, I'm like naaah...being a girl is kinda awesome. We have superpowers. 

My current battle is thinking ahead to next year. I'm going to be 25 and it's like the older I get, the stupider people seem to be. My level of annoyance with other people's stupidity has skyrocketed. And I don't mean lack of basic intelligence (1+1=3?) I mean the lack of common non academic knowledge. I won't elaborate on that. 

I've been thinking that maybe I need to find something to do with my time. I spend my time at work and then with my friends. I think I need to explore things for myself. I'm so wrapped up in other people's lives that I'm forgetting to go have one of my own. I know that it's something I desire, because I cherish every minute of my alone time, but spending time at home alone is not the same as experiencing life alone. I need to think on that. 


I'm so happy to be back in the blogosphere with my opinions, thoughts, and experiences! I have a couple topics in mind to discuss. I will try not be gone so long again lol I missed it here :)