Candid Thoughts

I haven't blogged in a while because every time I went to post a blog, it sounded so negative and that's not what I wanted to put out there. 
Everywhere you look, people are screaming about positivity and shunning negativity. I have a problem with that. I feel pressured to be positive which doesn't fix the reason why I feel negative, it just makes me suppress it. How is that healthy? 

Anyway, I went through a little bit of a rough patch. Somewhere along the way I forgot that I'm enough for me. I was seeking love, praise, attention, and time from everyone else and being upset when I wasn't high enough on the priority list to get it from them. I was so angry and frustrated with the lack of love and support I felt. I couldn't be happy for anyone. My annoyance level on a good day is like a 5 because I can't stand people, but these days, it was on a 10 just waking up in the morning. I couldn't pray because I felt so guilty for how angry and hateful I was during this time. 

I had this sweet encounter with a stranger at a laundromat. She had just met me and she told me all of these wonderful things about me. She even prayed for me and my kids. She gave me what I had been craving for so long and she restored my faith in genuine kindness. It was beautiful. I could see some light again. 

I'm ready to enter the next phase of my life. I'm ready for the Me Project. Getting myself together, getting my life together, enjoying me, loving me, taking care of me, and just being me. I'm enough for me. And somehow I let that slip. 

OH AND I JUST FINISHED THAT LAST SEASON OF RHOA....MISS PHAEDRA...WTF and MISS PORSHA... come on now girl. MISS KENYA...eyeroll.