IDKIDKIDK!!!

Hello, I'm back again!! Sitting on my bed, sipping my wine, eating my cookies, and catching up on the new season of RHOA! Yall know that's my show!

Today, I want to address something I'm not sure how to label. It's centered around this feeling of inadequacy I feel because I don't aspire to work for myself and I'm unsure of what my long term goals are.

I see memes all the time about watching who you're around, surround yourself with like-minded people and shit like that and it makes me feel insecure. I don't want to be in that category of people who don't have ambitions or goals. I'm doing something that means a lot to me, I just don't know where to take it from here. Not yet. I'm a little intimidated right now. Everyone around me is doing big things! They have businesses, are in school, or are very confident in what they are doing with their life.

When I was in high school, I decided I wanted to be a teacher. I'm doing that and I feel very fulfilled in the work that I do. I'm great at my job!! I don't have that "let me open my own school" mentality. I just don't. I have my dream job, but I know I won't retire from it. 

It has to leave people to wonder "well, what's next?" GOOD QUESTION! One major life lesson I've learned is that some of the things I thought I wanted, I could actually live without. I'm on an eternal journey of self discovery and that might be problematic for some people. I'm trying to make it less problematic for me. I don't know what I want long term (except a daughter, but I change my mind on that every other week)! I know more of what I don't want. I know what I want small term and a couple months ahead is enough for me to think about right now. 

I help out, though!! I am a sounding board for those around me, I watch the kids, I share the posts, I support those who are trying to do big things, I just don't know what those things are for me.

Please understand that this doesn't mean I'm content with where I am. I desire to live better!! 

I had been feeling this for a while, but I couldn't pinpoint exactly what the feeling was...

With all that being said, I'm happy for every one of my friends and associates that are out here making moves! I will continue to support in any ways that I can! I am truly excited for all yall...Let me do some shout outs right quick...

1. Social Media Consulting Group- [email protected] Te'Jal Cartwright :)
2. The Cake Podcast available on anchor and apple :) follow them on ig @thecakepodcast to get updates on new episodes!
3. My good friend, Kiera is in PA school- send her prayers and positive thoughts...shit's stressful!!
4. My good friend, Miracle, just moved all the way to Vegas!! No move is easy- send her prayers and positive thoughts, as well :)