Not-A-Relationship

Update! I did work my butt off last week with school prep. I did NOT start reading a book for personal pleasure...womp womp...I'll try again on that one. 

I, like many other people, have found myself in not-a-relationship. I didn't see it coming at all!!!! I had seen my friends go through it and vowed that it wouldn't be me. But it is me lol 
Hindsight is 20./20.
Let's go back to the beginning where we mutually discussed how this would be nothing more than friendship. He made it very clear, as did I because at the time, there was no way I could see myself wanting anything more from him. I was at a point in my life where things were finally starting to change for the better and I knew I didn't want the distraction. 

This is the gist of what I did wrong...
I trusted too soon...believed everything he said
I loved too soon...loved the version of our relationship that was my reality and not his
I thought too much...reading between the lines instead reading what was written
I expected too much...expected reciprocity for the things I shouldn't have been doing in the first place
I accepted too much...accepted my truth and his truth although they weren't the same truth
I didn't love myself enough to demand what I wanted.... or else I wouldn't have found myself in this predicament.
WHAT I DIDN'T DO WAS: LISTEN

You get in so deep that it's hard to turn back. There are parts that are genuine and parts you don't want to let go of but how do you do that? How do you stop some parts and keep others? How do you weed out the healthy vs. the unhealthy...? 
You have to break up....with the person your in not-a-relationship with....and grieve the loss of a relationship you never had. 

PS...
Not-a-Relationship is a play on the title of this book I read to my students at the beginning of every year...watch below! 
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