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Hey guys! Ok so I have to tell yall how I ended up at my computer at 3AM typing a blog. I was sitting in my chair, listening to music, and the computer just came on...At first I was freaked out because yall know I don’t like that stuff...like why are you operating without my command? I walked over to close it and sat down instead. I lit my Eucalyptus Rain candle from Bath and Body Works and turned on Eric Bellinger’s Born II Sing Vol. 3. So I was about to take a filtered selfie for the post, but as soon as I opened Snapchat, the song said “...can I see you with no filter” LMAO. So I took the picture with no filter. I experienced a small victory this week. Yall know I’m trying to lose some weight. For some people, quarantine pushed them harder to workout. For me, anxiety paralyzed me. I started working out a little bit here and there, very inconsistently. I decided to go to the park and walk. It was hot outside, so I figured I would be melting after about 10 minutes. I turned on my 30 Day Song Challenge playlist and got to walking. I listen to my playlists on shuffle. The third song was a gospel song, Mary Mary’s Can’t Give Up Now. I was about to skip it because it didn’t seem like the right vibe. Then I thought back to something my therapist said when I told her I was trying to workout more. First, she asked me what I listen to when I workout and I told her sometimes I listen to books or have some fast upbeat music. She said try to keep what you listen to happy and positive that way your brain connects that feeling to working out. When she said it I was like yeah whatever (in my head), I’m still gon blast Yo Gotti LOL, but then that Mary Mary song came on and changed my mind. I listened to it and the words resonated so heavily with what I was feeling. It was empowering in a way I didn’t expect. Next, I asked Siri to play Shackles (Praise You). That 2nd verse hit me so hard I almost cried. Everything that could go wrong I listened to just that one song on repeat and walked my first mile since having to quit the gym in February. God carried me through that. I definitely was not alone! I didn’t even realize how long I had been walking. I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF!!! People have their qualms about celebrating the small things, but I honestly don't know how I would accomplish anything if I didn't have little milestones to celebrate on the way to finish line. Don’t punish yourself by ignoring your progress! Even more reason to celebrate...I did it again! The second time was a little tougher, but I made it through 🙌 What small victory did you celebrate recently?
Thanks for reading!
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I’m not one to participate in many instagram challenges, but I participated in the 30 Day Song Challenge. I didn’t finish posting the songs on Instagram because I kept forgetting, but I did make the playlist when I first began the challenge. Here are my songs:
I was looking back at my song choices and I think they represent me well. The big winner is Jhene Aiko, a fellow pisces! And no surprise that my fave, Kehlani, is in second place, just one song behind Jhene! I made the playlist public on Apple Music if you are interested in listening :) my username is ashleya636 I posted the challenge below if you want to get started! Enjoy!  Every once in a while, I have a really vivid dream. I usually wake up and text it someone. I think I've told this to someone before, but I can't be sure. I usually record them if they were interesting enough. This one was absolutely insane!!
I had a dream I was being pursued by this big time drug dealer. He was sending me nice gifts and sending me plane tickets to meet him in different cities. He sent me a snap, telling me he had to go to Japan and that he had a ticket for me. I initially said no, but my roommates were annoying tf outta me so I changed my mind. I packed my bags and replied that I was coming. He said he was sending a car. I went outside to wait for my ride. There was this group of maybe 5 boys all dressed in white pants and blue hoodies. They started harassing me, saying all types of shit about me. I was trying to get back in the house and they were blocking my path. Somehow I had a gun, but one of them did too. He pointed his gun at me and I pointed mine at him. The rest of the boys had run away. I kicked him in the nuts and his gun fell. So I picked it up. I got to my back door and was trying to get in when the boys found me again. They crowded around me pushing me around and saying mean things. The guns disappeared. I managed to get in and they were trying to get in too. I got the door locked. I sent a snap to the drug dealer telling him that I couldn’t come. He said I broke his heart.... That's a lot to digest LOL any dream interpreters out there 👀 Help a girl out! Happy Tuesday! We’ve all heard of the 5 love languages, right? Well if not, here’s a quick little summary to quickly explain:  As you can imagine, getting these things in quarantine has been a challenge. Physical touch is basically a sin right now. I went from a job where I could easily get 30-40 hugs a day, to absolutely nothing. I’m deprived in all the ways, yall. No hugs, no handshakes, no pat on the back, NO KISSES, no cuddles, no sex. I’ve made my peace with it. It is what it is on that. (No, I’m not ok) (And I lied, I’ve not made my peace with it) (Manifest manifest manifest) (LOL)  Quality time is a whole different story. It’s easier to get, but there are challenges. Quality time has to be intentional for me. If we’re hanging out and you’re constantly scrolling or you're playing a game, or on the phone, that’s not quality time. We can definitely enjoy time sharing space, but quality time is about me and you setting out time to do something together. Even if that something is taking a nap! I’m a brat. I want my time, exclusively. Not all the time, but every once in a while. People may have different definitions of what it means so this one takes communication.  I've had to make consolations and adjustments. I've had to decline things that I would've said yes to in a heartbeat. Quarantine has been difficult for lots of reasons, but two of those reasons are the difficulty I have with the ways I like to be loved. My friends are doing what they can to help me out as best they can and I'm very grateful for that!
What's your love language? If you don't already know, I invite you to take the quiz! Comment your results here or on my IG @nicolenaturallyblog Thanks for reading! Oh and if you've missed my last few posts, you can find them here: 10 Things That Went Well This Week The Perfect Storm Keeping Ashley Going |
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