So there you have it. My corny ass dating profile! It's cute! I love it LOL You get nice wholesome women like me on these things, and then a guy slides in your inbox and says:

That last one...I was equally pissed and weak lol you can have your preferences but that was just disrespectful for no reason. His stupid ass would love it here. He's holding himself back. 

So the first app I tried was Match. You have to pay to talk to people. I thought that if I was gonna take this seriously, investing in it might be worth it. I matched and had conversations with a few guys and after a few days, I exchanged numbers with one of them. Remember, I had the biggest flop on this app. Yall….we got off the app and all of a sudden he didn’t know how to hold a conversation anymore. He would text me and respond with one word answers or take two days to respond. First of all, that was triggering af. Second, he was 42. How are you 42 and don’t know how to talk? I stopped responding. During that time, we found out the kids were coming back into the classroom in a really fucked up way. I was very angry for a while. He randomly text me out the blue and said “Hope all is well”. When I responded, he said I was a bad communicator for not telling him about work. I looked at my phone like what?! Who are you?! I don’t owe you shit. I don’t even know you. And that’s where I learned the first lesson: communication is reserved for what and who matters. It’s also reciprocal. So there you have the biggest flop. 

FUN FACT: I matched with a guy I've matched with before.

I also experienced the biggest shock from Match. Right before my month was up, I had been having a pretty good conversation with someone. And because of that, he confessed something to me. He told me he had been living with herpes for 16 years. I responded thanking him for his honesty and then my month was up the very next day. I didn't intend to leave it like that. I just knew I wasn’t going to pay for another month. I was done with paying for these little apps. No judgment to him or anyone living with something like that. People don't just go out and get herpes on purpose. I understand that. 

FUN FACT: I'm currently friends on facebook with a guy that I matched with. I've never done that before. 

Let's move on to Hinge. That is a newer dating app and I like it's format. The very first night on there,  I matched with a white guy. He liked my picture and we started a conversation. He was not my type. I entertained it for a day until he got really drunk that same night and started messaging me about anal. I'm. Not. Kidding. Lesson number 2: Don't waste time on someone you don't like. 

Now my favorite dating app is BLK. The energy radiates from the app lol IYKYK. So anyway, I matched with 9 guys on here. I proceeded to have conversations with 5 of them, consistently. Then I became really aware of something--I no longer knew what I was looking for. I'm having all these conversations and somehow what I wanted became elusive. These guys are telling me what they want and I'm just like ok cool. NOOOOOOO! Not cool! Not having clear boundaries and being so open to what he wants is where I have always gone wrong with men. All this swiping and all these conversations started to get difficult to manage, so I changed things up. I had hastily decided that I just wanted to have sex. So I started looking for the safest option. The only issue was that one of those conversations started hitting a little different. We moved off the app and started texting, then calling, then facetiming. And then I got confused again, which scared me. Lesson number 3: know what you want before you get started and hold yourself accountable. 

FUN FACT one of the guys I matched with gave me the recipe to this tea that makes me feel so much better when I'm sick. I'll never forget that. 

So then we get to Bumble, and I'm just trying to get laid now. Yall...I matched with this guy and he told me I was gorgeous and that he wanted to spend time with me. So I'm like ok cool it's sounding like a hook up. So I'm talking to him, trying to get to know his habits to see if he's safe to have over and he tells me he would love to take me on a date. I'm out here trying to get slutted out and he said he wants to have a covid-safe date. I had to re-evaluate my life choices at this point because wtf? How do I keep getting this all wrong lol?

FUN FACT At one point, I was conversing with 4 guys between BLK and Bumble. Two of them have the same name and the other two of them have the same name. Can't make this shit up lol 

So where did I land after all this madness? I'm still talking to two of the guys and thankfully, they have different names. I'm still a little confused about what I want. One of them is a little more involved than the other and I may make the choice to see him first. Yall know how I feel about covid, so I'm trying to get him to chill for a couple weeks LOL we'll see. He's pretty lowkey, but he still does too much for my comfort. The other one, I don't feel a super strong connection, but he is really trying and he's respecting all my boundaries. 

So the last lesson: if you're really looking for something, you're going to have to invest a lot of time. I weeded through a lot of creeps, weirdos, and pervs and I was only doing this for two months. It's like speed dating but not speedy and it's online lol so it's not like speed dating...

I feel like I rambled. Look out for the next post where I will dive deeper into some of the other highs and lows with the guys that I matched with, how past "relationships" have impacted my decisions, and where anxiety plays a role. 

Trying to date in a pandemic is ridiculous lol why did I embark on this journey again? Lol jk, I'm having a lot of fun with it!

Have you tried to date since March? How did it work out?  Any tips? 

Heyyyy! It’s been a while since I did an overall life update, so let’s dig in. 

Let me set the scene. I’m in my living room at one of my three desks. I have a Janet Jackson video playlist playing from youtube. I’m smelling the brussel sprouts I got from Smashburger. They stink lol 

So hmmm where to start...I guess work because ewww. 

As you all know, I’m still a kindergarten teacher, but barely. I got one foot out the door. I’m not a fan of any part of what’s going on, as far as education is concerned. There is no real way to win. Everybody involved is screwed. And somehow it’s become the job of the teacher to fix that. My passion for the job and compassion for all involved is why I’m so good, but in this situation, it’s also why I haven’t been able to just say FUCK THIS like I want to. Yet. 

Ok let’s move on to home...It’s still my home LOL at least for a few more months. Girly is about to move after almost 6 years. I’m ready to live in a place I like, with stuff that’s all mine. This place is a hodgepodge of things that once belonged to other people. I mean from people’s houses, the dorms, outside the dumpster...I was not above scouting for shit when people moved out. I'm so grateful for this apartment and what it has been for me, but I’m ready to start over. I’ve already acquired the first new thing for my new place and I’m excited about it. 

Anxiety...it’s still here. Fucking up my life LOL

MEN...I have a lot of updates in this area. I rejoined all those dating apps and boy do I have stories to tell. Men are interesting creatures! Just wait until I write the updated dating apps post. Yall are going to get such a kick out of what these men have said to me, sent to me, and asked of me. I’m ending a situationship and trying to transition the relationship, but I don’t know how to do that. There is just so much there for me to undo, unlearn, and reprogram. There will definitely be more on this later. 

Therapy is going really well! I absolutely love my therapist. We are reading a book together and we were able to celebrate Biden’s win together! That is so important to me, because there isn’t a safe place to go to talk about politics these days. Of course my close friends, but I’m honestly afraid to know political affiliations outside of those places. We all know that in 2020, it’s not just politics. 

So let’s talk diabetes for a quick second. When I was first diagnosed on August 23, 2019, my a1c was 11.8. I was able to get it down to 6.4 with the help of insulin injections. I began to learn more about diabetes and decided I didn’t want to be on insulin anymore. So I stopped. I watch what I eat and I work out more. I don’t work out nearly as much as I should, but I do stay active. I was able to get my a1c down to 6.3 WITHOUT INSULIN!!!!! Just me, my body, and my good choices. I am so proud and hoping to keep it up. My only concern is that I’m not losing weight fast enough. It’s a few pounds here and a few pounds there and it’s inconsistent. 

Umm I’m not sure what else there is to update you on…

Yall know me and Noelle still cool af! That's my girl! 

New interests, I suppose…

I’d like to do a real photo shoot. Closed set. The photographer has to be a stranger. And I only want two outfits. The little photo shoot I had at my house inspired tf outta me. Like...I'm a bad bitch. I need more photo evidence of this lol

Oh and my November/December vision board is on the way. Yes, this one is combined!

I think that’s it for now. Be on the lookout for follow up posts about some of these things!


What’s going on with you? What updates would you like to share?