My First Procedure

What a day! Technically, it’s the last day of my summer break and wow that was fast! I declared it a no work day to my friend earlier, but then I did two loads of laundry, got Noelle a bath and light detail, I folded and hung up all the clothes I washed, I sent out a few emails for work, and cleaned out my refrigerator. I got a margarita and took a midday nap, so there...balance!

So let’s get into it! 

Back in 2019, I had a spinal tap. It was my first procedure and I was fine until I arrived at the hospital. I was shaking and my eyes kept tearing up. I was in the outpatient procedure waiting area for what felt like forever. My procedure was at 2 and I had to get there an hour early. I was assigned the head nurse and she made sure I knew that lol Her name was either Cindy or Sydney. I can’t remember. 

So Head Nurse walked me through what to expect and then I started silently weeping lol I was now terrified. I got myself together and she started doing the IV. I was newly diagnosed with diabetes at this point so I was no stranger to needle pokes. She told me to prepare myself and I told her I’m usually fine as long as I can see it. Yeah...I know that’s weird. Most people look away, but I need to see it lol She said well that’s fine and all but I think I need to be the one to see it. Don’t you think? And from then on, Head Nurse was a bitch in my mind. I swear I hate to see myself in other people LOL I can be a smartass sometimes. 

So after she gets me together, I go to pre-op where they continue to prepare me for the procedure. At this point, I’m full on crying!! There was a male nurse, older white man, and as sweet as can be. He really got me through this and I can’t even remember his name!!! That annoys me!!! Anyway, I’m crying and he’s talking me through what’s going to happen next. He’s trying to comfort me with statistics, which is very helpful! He then asks me if I’m a christian and the easy answer is yes. It’s really much more complicated than that. He told me that God says I’m his sister and that we are going to get through this together. The whole time, he called me little sister. He held my hand and he prayed for me. 

Now I’m in the procedure room. It is a huge room with so much equipment. I’m still full on crying as they numb my back. The doctor walked in all cheerful and excited and I’m just crying. The sweet nurse is still holding my hand and telling me what’s going on. I feel them rub stuff all over my back. The doctor says if I hit your nerve I’m sure you’ll let me know and I’m thinking WHAT THE FUCK!!! The tears start coming out even faster!! Everybody’s promising me that it’s going to be okay and I’m just like what? He can hit my nerves? What is that going to feel like? And why is that some kinda joke? I found out lol 

So the doctor tells me that it’s time to put the needle in. I completely froze. As scared as I was, I wasn’t trying to end up paralyzed because I was shaking from crying so hard. I was bracing myself for the poke, but I literally felt nothing UNTIL HE HIT A NERVE!!! It didn’t hurt, but man!!! Its like a buzzing feeling. It’s difficult to describe. When he hit my nerve, I was like heyyyy!! It was like that was my only reflex because part of my back was numb. He apologized. It happened maybe 4 times. 

After it was over, I went back to the first room I was in with Head Nurse. She said that I had to stay flat on my back for 4 hours after the procedure and then I should be fine. I asked her how long I would need to take off work and she said if I laid on my back for these 4 hours, I would be fine. I told her I teach kindergarten and asked if she was sure. She assured me that I would be fine and that I may get a “slight headache” exactly 24 hours from the start of my procedure, which was at 2. 

At exactly 2pm the next day, I felt like I was about to die and I was ready. I was up underneath my desk because I couldn’t function. “Slight headache”? Head Bitch got that one completely wrong!!!! I had to leave work and go back to the hospital where I was informed that I should not have been told to go back to work. I spent the day hooked up to an IV watching 31 days of Halloween on Freeform. I watched The Addams Family movies and I slept. 

I had the procedure on a Monday, went back to work Tuesday and left, and was off until Friday. And I only went back on that Friday becauseI felt up to it and we had a meeting so there weren’t any kids. Zoom wasn’t on anybody’s radar yet lol

This experience didn’t do much for my distrust of the medical field. 

Thanks for reading! Gotta post another one tomorrow soooo see you soon!

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