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Detailed sex story ahead FYI… We kissed all the way from my door to my bedroom. When we got to my room, I started undressing him. First his shirts (swear he had on like 4), then his pants. We were kissing again and he pulled my shirt off. I always wear easy access clothes when a man I intend to fuck is coming over lol undressing me was easy. He kissed all over my body like he was in love with me or something. I laid back on the bed. He pulled me towards the edge and climbed on top of me. He slid into me while we were kissing and I felt like I was gonna cum right then and there. Kissing really does it for me and Brendon seemed to enjoy it as much as I did. He was so kind and so gentle with me…while he was on top of me. Then he flipped me around and entered me from behind. Yall. It hurt so fucking good!!! I felt his sweat dripping on my ass. We’re fucking and then he pulled out and nutted on my carpet. ON MY FUCKING CARPET!!! We had an intermission and talked a bit and then out of nowhere, he picked me up and put me on top of him. HE COULD LIFT ME!!! So the part I forgot to say was that he delivered furniture. I guess I’m a couch because he lifted my 300lb ass with no problems. I proceeded to ride him until he lifted me up again, laid me on my back, and fucked me missionary. He nutted on my carpet again. We got dressed and walked back to the door. We kissed some more, but I cut it short so he could go get his sister. He let me know when he got to his sister and when he made it back home. Brendon and I had a good, sexy time together. Lots and lots of kissing, naked cuddling, telling stories from our lives… Usually every time we got together, we fucked at least twice because of the first goodbye kiss always led to another round. Everything was just so intense between us all the time. One time we fucked at the door because we couldn’t make it to my room. It was the kissing. So much passion wrapped into each one. His hands always ended up wandering over my entire body and that’s how sex happens. Kissing is dangerous. Especially kissing Brendon. We continued to talk all day and all night. I think you could make a drinking game out of how many times I used the word ‘kissing’ lol Everything with Brendon felt so right. I didn’t feel like I had to force anything, he seemed to want me as much as I wanted him, but that wasn’t true. We were both having a rough week and we were joking about how at least this is going well for us. We had just made it to a month and two days later, he ghosted me. I remember I was at game night at Tej’s house and he was asking me what games we were playing and how he wished he could come and then nothing. I was in such disbelief that I was like ok…he must’ve died because ain’t no way…I thought this for 2 days. I didn’t allow myself to feel anything until I got confirmation of his death or signs of life. Then I saw him respond to something someone tagged him in on facebook. He was not dead. I have this rule of 3 when it comes to men. I saw a boy ignore 100 phone calls and text messages and I never wanted to give any dude that power over me. I will try to reach out a max of 3 calls and 3 messages and then it has to stay where it is. I didn’t call him at all, so he got 4 messages. I sent one message on Saturday, one on Sunday, a facebook message on Facebook after I saw the comment and a message on snapchat after he viewed my story. He blocked me on facebook after I sent that message. I was DEVASTATED!!! Confused, lost, heartbroken…All the things. There were no signs. He was all in and then he was all out. Ghosting is so cruel. After this experience, I took a break from Danny, Rodney and I had already stopped calling each other at this point, and I sought solace from Dro. Yeah, I know. He was offering me friendship and I needed someone to fill the gap Brendon left…temporarily. I was fucked up for weeks. It still lingers a little bit because it’s not closed. Idk if it was something I did or something he had going on. Let’s take a break from the emotional the lovey dovey shit for a second. He could lift me and he was my best eater. I LOST MY BEST EATER!!!! That’s another level of heartbreak. I could cry right now just thinking about it. Through this experience, I made a big girl move. Instead of keeping this to myself, I took it to my friends and allowed myself to be affirmed, reassured, loved, and supported through this terrible grieving process. I made myself so proud! Randomly, I thought about how I was supposed to lend him my copy of The Silent Patient to read, but we kept forgetting every time he came over. Do yall know how fucking relieved I am that that asshole does not have my book!?!?! If you look at the bookshelf in the picture, the book is on display so that when he walked in he would see it. Obviously, the bookshelf was not our focus lol  This is why I don’t fuck with men who have androids. I said what I said!!! Never again!!!
Next Up: Lessons from my hoe phase, the answers to the ig questions, fun facts, confessions, and what song reminds me of each guy… Also, I did a half ass job with editing this lol I'm sorry.
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This the one right here yall. I know Charlie was yall favorite lol but Brendon was mine. Brendon and I matched on BLK about a month after things ended with Charlie. Rodney was still in the picture at this time, but I decreased the amount of time that we were talking because Brendon had my full attention. Let me tell yall about him. I thought he was so adorable!! His pictures showed someone who was tough and hardened by life, but also very cuddly. Kinda like a bear. They look so adorable with those ears, but get too close and they’ll kill you. AKA my type lol We initially bonded over our love of reading. HE LIKES TO READ!! He even suggested things for me to read and he got me hooked on Webtoon. If you’re familiar with Webtoon, I read the Lore Olympus series. It’s so good. Greek Mythology stuff. We also found this super funny:  He’s very family oriented. All about his mom, brothers and sisters. He didn’t know his dad, but knew of him. Unfortunately, he was dying. He alluded to some complicated things with his mom too. He loves his mom, but there was a lot going on there. Just a lot of parent shit which let my trauma informed ass know that I needed to be careful with this one. I am well aware of the fact that your relationship with your parents has a huge impact on how you show up in your relationships. This did not deter me. I just found him to be such a breath of fresh air, that this one thing was ok.
We talked on the app for a few days and then I gave him my number. I really enjoyed talking to him. I thought the conversations with Charlie were good, but Brendon and I could talk about more. He was an open book. He answered every question, even if the answer was bad. He was curious and asked a lot of questions. It may be the first time that I felt like a man actually wanted to know me. In the past, I felt like I volunteered a lot of information to aid in the process of getting to know me. I forced it, I guess. Not with Brendon. I was glued to my phone waiting for his response, which always came reasonably quick. I could anticipate when he would text me because he never let too much time go by between conversations. And all that is how Brendon became a problem. I went off book on this one. It was supposed to be just sex, but I already knew before we met that that’s not what was going to happen. We talked all day everyday for about a week before we decided to meet. He came over and everything just felt so natural. It was like hanging out with someone I’d known for years. We talked for a couple hours and sex didn’t come up once. We were getting into the deep shit. Childhood trauma, relationship issues, what we wanted out of life…and then his sister called and he had to go get her from work. I was so sad yall. I walked him to the door and we were saying goodbye. We were standing very close. He tilted his head down a bit and our faces were like an inch apart. Ultimately, I was the one that leaned in for the kiss and omg. OMFG! Easily, hands down the best kiss of my life. He has these really big lips and I never kissed someone with big lips before. This would become a staple when we got together. We really loved kissing each other. It was intoxicating. So back to this goodbye kiss… There was so much passion and then it got hot. I backed away and told him it was too bad that he had to leave. He stepped closer to me and we started kissing again. This time it was hotter and deeper. His hands were all over me and I backed away again. I told him if he didn’t leave then, he wouldn’t be leaving for a while. He said “Don’t threaten me with a good time”. At that point I was like fuck it, we’re doing this. This is a short story about one of the guys I matched with on BLK, with a sprinkle of 2 other guys. At the time that Rodney and I matched, I was deeply entangled with Charlie and Danny and I were handling our business. Even though I had two boys, I wasn’t fully satisfied. I wanted more. Charlie worked late sometimes and wasn’t as needy as I was and Danny has a daughter that stays with him for two weeks at a time. I felt like I needed one more guy to make my rotation complete. On my journey to finding this third guy, there were two other guys that stood out. Check out a couple of snippets from two of the guys that didn’t make the cut: The first one is Ty. He was very bold which emboldened me. I be talking shit yall lol Things with Ty didn’t work out because he was in Cincinnati and I wasn’t trying to travel that far just for sex. It was only 45 minutes but that was enough to take him out of the running.
The second two are J. J was not okay. J was fighting demons and I was 100% he was looking for someone to fight them for him lol I was not looking for a project. I was just looking for dick. Rodney got my attention with his consistency. Every morning there was a good morning and every evening he wanted to know about my day. He works 3rd shift so he was getting off when I was headed to work and he would be waking up by the time I got home. It worked out pretty well, surprisingly. My favorite thing about him was that he loved to facetime. At the time, that was important to me. He would facetime me first thing in the morning and compliment my “morning glow”. Fun fact: Rodney and I have never met. I know I just spent all the time singing his praises buuuuut… I knew fairly early on that I was probably never going to sleep with him. As I mentioned, he liked to facetime. I was all about it. In our first 3 calls, I learned a lot of information about him. 1. He believes in Kevin Samuels, 2. He has a crazy gun wielding ex, and 3. He has an abnormally large penis. I didn’t engage in the Kevin Samuels debates he wanted to have. I inquired about the crazy ex and it scared me. She drives up and down his street, follows people who leave his house, and calls him all the time and tells him that no one else can have him. I wonder what parts of the story are missing, but I heard enough that I told him I would never go to his house. He offered to show me his large penis and I said no…at first. When he’s not sharing these wild outlandish tales and discussing Kevin Samuels, he is fun to talk to. I never laughed so much! That’s why I continued to talk to him even though I knew I would probably not see him. One night, I was at my friend’s game night and he called me. I ignored the call at first, but then he called again. I went to a private room to take the call and this time when he asked me if I wanted to see his penis, I said yes. He was correct. That was the biggest penis I had ever seen and it was soft. He asked me if I wanted him to wake it up and I said no. I was scared! I do believe there is such a thing as too much dick. He had too much dick. I’m not sure that would even be pleasurable. Shortly after that night, Rodney and I stopped talking. We would miss each other’s phone calls and then eventually, we stopped calling. Ironically, as I started working on this post, he hit me up. We have since begun talking again, but as friends. There doesn’t seem to be this underlying sexual desire. At least not on my end. And he called me just now as I was making edits and the first thing he asked me was when I was going to disrespect his face? LMFAO. So disregard that underlying sexual desire comment. He is the guy who offered the FWB deal I was talking about it in my story yesterday. I declined, obvi. I did share with him that I’m not in a good place to enter any potential situationships, relationships, or anything. He was very understanding and appreciative of my honesty. Next Up- Brendon <-- This one right here...shit |
