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Loving myself does not mean there aren’t things about me that I don’t like. While I enjoy how far I’ve come and I’m proud of what I’ve done to get to where I am today, I do recognize that I’m still a flawed person. The work never stops!
Here is one thing that gives me the ick about myself: I talk too much. In every way you can imagine. I overcommunicate some things, I go on tangents when I’m trying to tell a simple story, and I always have an opinion that needs to be shared. I would love to just shut up, sometimes. I hear myself talking and I think like stop. Just stop. What are you doing? Why are you still talking? I’m working on it. Sometimes I’ll catch myself and wrap it up. Or I’ll have an opinion and just keep it to myself. I think the communication thing has a lot to do with protecting boundaries and making sure I make all of my feelings/needs known, but I think that this is a fine line. Being secure in my decisions and who I am shouldn’t require so much talking. I’m learning where to draw the line and in what situations I should do so. So in an effort to not talk so much… Thanks for reading!
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Turning 34 was so hard and I didn’t see it coming. When I first entered the work force and was living on my own, life was hard. I turned 34 and *shocker* life is still hard. I’ve had to be very intentional about noticing the ways in which my life looks the way that I once dreamed about. The first thing I’m going to acknowledge is my bed! One thing I always knew about myself is that I like to sleep. Comfortably. My sign of truly making it in life is having the perfect bed. Maybe I always knew I wasn’t an outside person lol  When I moved into my first apartment in 2015, I had my best friend's childhood twin bed. It was made of thick hardwood back when things were made of quality material. It was so sturdy! I loved that bed, but I knew I needed more space. I tried to find a picture, but I don’t have one 🙁 After that twin bed, I upgraded and it felt massive in comparison. I had room to leave stuff in my bed and I was so excited about that. Post college, I struggled to get back into reading and being able to leave books in the bed helped with that. Quick access. PS, look how tiny that tv is!!! This was like 2016 lol When I moved into my current place, I finally accepted that my favorite color is pink and designed my cute little pink bedroom. It still isn’t done yet, but it’ll do for now. Anyway, I loved my bed and my room, and my apartment as a whole. In July of 2024, I made a new friend. I went to his house and got in his bed…Then I went home, got in my bed, and was like oh…I need a new bed. So I went to Mattress Firm and bought the bed of my dreams. I decided not to get a headboard…When I move into a more final home, a headboard is the way I plan to elevate my bed. It is a king sized bed that does cool things and it fits me, my stuffed animals, my bed tray, my kindle holder, a thousand pillows, and occasionally, that man although I never leave him any space 🤭  One day, I will go into detail about why turning 34 was so devastating (dramatic much?), but for the time being, I'm going to continue to focus on the things that worked out for me. This bed is definitely a win!
Thanks for reading! ❤️ So I’ve been wanting to write this for some time, but I always get distracted by something else. There are just some things that GET ON MY NERVESSSS! Here are the first 10 that came to mind:
 2. One more driving one…I HATE when people don’t use turning signals. It gives “Major Douche Bag”.  3. I try to be more patient with this one, but it drives me nuts when people ask questions with obvious answers. Example: you agree to go to dinner at a certain time, you show up and meet at the door and they ask "are you ready to go inside?" Nope...thought we'd stand out here all night.  4. There is one coworker who does this to me regularly...I can't stand when people ask me “how’s it going?” at 8am…How is what going? Leave me alone.  5. I make things awkward with this one because I can't just ignore it. I do not like being lumped into negative opinions. Example: "We're boring and just like to read and color". I don't find that boring so that's not how I would phrase that. If you think your interests are boring, that's on you, but don't lump me into your shit.  6. Remember when we were required to be at least 6ft away from everyone? What a time. I am really bothered by people standing too close. At my job, people will LITERALLY walk on your heels. I mean actually step on you because they are so close. BACK TF UP!!!  7. This next one, only happens at McDonald's. Everywhere else that I place a mobile order I say, "Hi, I have a mobile order for Ashley A." When I tried that at McDonald's they were like no we need the code. Ok cool. So I'll go to McDonald's and they'll ask if I'm using the app. I say yes, I have a mobile order. Most of them say "Ok, what's the code?" But there is this one lady there who never asks for the code. I say I'm using the app and she says "Ok." I'm like ok maybe she has to pull up a different screen or something and then she'll say "are you going to tell me the code?" with a little tude in her voice. YOU DIDN'T ASK!!!! Everyone else always asks. You're the weirdo here, not me.  The last three are things I do that really piss me off: 8. I'm a disaster cook. I cannot stand how my kitchen looks after I'm done cooking. Why would I do that to myself?  9. I wake up so annoyed when I realize I fell asleep reading...like I set this time aside for this and fell asleep after only a few pages. It's amazing that I get books read!  10. I change my sheets weekly. When the deadline day rolls around (changes depending on my weekend plans), I will wake up and take the sheets off my bed to make sure it gets done. But sometimes...I forget that I did that or time gets away from me. I'll go to my room to go to bed only to discover that there are no sheets.  A lot of things get on my nerves and I'm not even safe from myself lol
Am I tripping?? Who knows. Thanks for reading!! ❤️ Good (morning, afternoon, evening) whenever you read this lol So some of you are aware that I’ve gotten into journaling. On this journey, I have discovered that there are so many unique and creative ways to do it. A few people at work are into bullet journaling with me and we share ideas sometimes. One of them showed me her January journal that had a daily list. I was interested and decided to give it a try. My january journal was already done, so I did it for February. The lists are kind of like a daily journal prompt. Each month has a theme that the list follows. For February, it was love. I left the creator’s instagram handle on the screenshot in case anyone is interested. Take a look:  These are some of the most surprising and meaningful lists from the month. In an effort to stop writing novels in my blog, I did not explain why these lists stood out lol 3 Ways I Show Love:
4 Things That Make Me Feel Connected
3 Things Belonging Feels Like
3 People Who Shaped Me
5 Things I’m Grateful for in My Community
Doing these lists allowed me to really explore what matters to me in love and what love looks like to me. Most importantly, it showed me how much love I have in my life. If anyone is interested in journaling April with me, here is the list of lists for April!  Thanks for reading!
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